(The scary building that I have learnt to love !)
It was the only building that I could hand on heart say I didn’t even look at ..ever... I told myself it wasn’t for me , that I wouldn’t be able too , that I wouldn’t like it , that it was a waste of money , that it would be clicky....
I had decided that I would never go in one & wasnt interested...
All of that was because I was ashamed, ashamed how I looked , at how I’d let myself get to the size I was , I was embarrassed, I was wondering if I’d be too big to use the equipment, if I’d break it , if people would be talking about me and sniggering !
But it was all in my head , my own demons..
Any excuse I could come up with !!!
I didn’t start going to the gym at the very beginning of my journey, I stuck to the plan and only did my normal day to day stuff ... And it was fantastic!.. weight was dropping off and I started to feel better in myself... healthier.... more alive !
But my mind soon got to thinking that I had to start toning up , help my skin out a little , and I actually really wanted to swim !.. I hadn’t gone swimming in a pool since .. well a very long time ago ...And I used to love it , in fact I was quite good,I had been in a swimming club at a young age ! .... the only thing is ,I was scared about having to buy a swimming costume and get my wobbly bits out in public ...
But it had got to the stage we’re I had to start doing something......!
So my Husband said he would join with me and one afternoon we went down for a visit ...
I was really nervous , as we were being shown round , all I could see was glamorous confident people, who I would give anything to look like ! Smiling and happy! .. But I was trying not to make eye contact.. Just incase I drew any attention to myself.
So , we joined .. and I took a deep breath / went online and brought a swimming costume ..( they didn’t have my size in shop !) ...
And I literally dived right in ..... literately at first !!!.... I had wobbly arms and legs and I couldn’t get in water quick enough ! I thought get in , hide my body ,my thought process was ... do excersise quick and get out ... I left the towel right by pool so I could cover myself up straight away ...
But , I LOVED IT !!!...... why had I been scared .... why hadn’t I tried this before!!!! .... as I looked around , I realised that no one was taking any notice of me ... they were all getting on with their own personal goals ...
And ultimately,we were all there for the same reason!
That was 3 months ago .... and now ... since then , I’ve had to buy 5 more swimming costumes ( as others were too big ) , and from a high street shops no less !!! And I’ve actually got some Gym gear !... as I’ve recently started working out on cardio machines and weights to tone !.....
So now I’m a fully fledged Gym goer ! And I’d miss it if I didn’t go !!!! I’m a regular and loving it ! Xx
I‘ve still got wobbly bits as at first i haven’t done much exercise,( the hard work is only just about to start !) but I’m not bothered so much anymore ! X
So don’t ever be worried , or think you will be out of place .... it’s just the fear of the unknown and alien ! .....
Everyone in the Gym is just the same as you !!!
Just trying to achieve Their own goals !
And they are all a friendly bunch !
kate xx
